


The Assassin's Handbook: Part 2

by ellacj



Series: 52 Weeks of Swan Queen [12]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Enchanted Forest, Assassin!Emma, F/F, henry's there for a tiny bit at the end, part two of two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 19:57:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3622326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellacj/pseuds/ellacj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life."</p><p>-Anne Roiphe</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Assassin's Handbook: Part 2

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for this, guys. Except I'm not.

Regina’s face goes through a range of emotions in the space of a few seconds. She looks angry, then confused, and at one point a bit offended, until finally she settles on staring at Emma with a curious expression. “You broke the law,” she murmurs.

Emma bows her head. “Yes.”

“You lied to me, and your entire kingdom.”

“Yes.”

“I should kill you.”

“Yes.”

Regina turns away, walking slowly back to the vanity where she was sitting when Emma came in. “Hand me the bow.”

Emma frowns. “Your Majesty?”

“Hand me the bow,” Regina repeats in the exact same nonchalant tone as the first time. When Emma complies, Regina enchants the bow with whatever spell it is, and returns it without making eye contact once. “You’re dismissed.”

For a moment, Emma turns to go, before her mind catches up and she turns back. “Forgive me, Your Majesty, but why are you letting me go?”

Regina slowly turns around to face her, a thoughtful tone in her voice when she speaks. “We’re both women in positions men say we shouldn’t be, are we not?” She sighs. “We have to support each other.”

“And what exactly does that mean?”

“Return here tomorrow at sunset,” Regina says, answering a completely different question. “You’re dismissed,” she repeats.

Emma bows low and pulls her hood back over her head before walking to the door.

“Emma,” Regina calls softly before she can go. “Try to be better at hiding your voice from now on. I really don’t want to kill you.” A glance behind her shows Emma that Regina’s smiling and there’s a joking glint in her eyes, and Emma relaxes her shoulders and nods once.

The door shuts heavily behind her, and she breathes a sigh of relief as she leans against it. Today’s taken a toll on her; that much is clear. She doesn’t even think to bring Robin his bow before she stumbles into her chambers and collapses on her bed without even removing her cloak.

 

Emma can barely focus on training the next day, and it takes most of her concentration to keep silent while she’s sparring with the other three guards. All she’s thinking about is Regina’s invitation and what might be waiting for her in the queen’s chambers tonight. When Robin lands his third touch on her during their match, Graham steps in and pulls her aside. “You all right?” he asks quietly. “You seem a bit off compared to yesterday.”

Emma sighs. She makes a few quick motions to explain something along the lines of _I’m still a little bit hungover from last night_. It takes some time, but Graham seems to understand and sends her to sit on the sides for a bit while he fences with Robin and Killian.

Their afternoon duties are much easier. After lunch is when Regina leaves the palace on diplomatic or pleasure trips, and two of them must accompany her on each journey – one sitting with the carriage driver and one inside the carriage with her.

However, Regina selects Robin and Graham to go with her instead, leaving Emma and Killian to stay behind and care for the weapons in the armory. Emma immediately picks up a sword and holds it to the sharpening stone while Killian cranks it so it turns.

“So, what’s your story, Swan?” Killian asks after a few minutes.

Emma shrugs.

“Got any family?”

She shakes her head.

“A name?”

Again, she shakes her head.

Killian frowns. “You like being mysterious, don’t you?” When she doesn’t respond, he sighs. “Well, each man has a right to his secrets, I suppose.” They finish sharpening and polishing the weapons in near silence, save for Killian’s humming of what Emma recognizes as old sea chanteys. She frowns. Killian himself is something of a mystery as well, and one she’s not too invested in solving at that.

 

Sunset can’t seem to come soon enough as Emma paces in her chambers, waiting for the sun to sink below the horizon. Finally, when the sky turns pink and orange, she deems it close enough and makes her way to the queen’s chamber.

“Enter,” Regina’s voice sounds at Emma’s knock.

This time, when Emma walks inside, Regina’s not soft and vulnerable like she was last night. No, tonight, she’s wearing a revealing lace nightgown and her hair is curled into fierce, wide ringlets. She wears a hungry smile to match her dark and dramatic makeup.

“Your Majesty,” Emma murmurs with a bow, pulse quickening.

“I have a proposition for you,” Regina says, abandoning all pleasantries as she advances toward Emma, who’s still bent over by the door. “I’ve kept your secret,” she murmurs. She reaches up and slowly removes Emma’s hood, releasing her hair from its tight bun and running a hand through soft blonde curls. “And now I trust you’ll keep mine.”

Before Emma can ask what the secret is, Regina’s lips are crashing down onto hers and deft fingers are untying her cloak to let it fall to the floor. There’s nothing sweet about this kiss, no lingering moments of passion; every move they make is simply another step toward a common goal. It’s all a blur, really, but they’re both breathing hard by the time it’s done and Emma has no idea how many times she’s come.

It becomes a regular arrangement after that.

Almost every night, Emma goes to Regina’s chambers and gets to use her voice as much as she wants. It keeps her sane, if she’s being honest. Regina chooses Emma to come with her in the carriage on nearly every journey, and they talk or kiss or hold hands or all three in the privacy of windowless black.

It’s terrifying to say “I love you” to someone who might not say it back, but Regina returns it with such fervor that Emma can’t help but kiss her with tears salty between their lips. Months go by, and Emma nearly forgets her reason for coming to the palace.

Until she’s reminded.

It’s one of the few nights she doesn’t sleep in Regina’s chambers when Cora appears in a cloud of black smoke just as Emma’s removing the wrap holding her breasts hostage. “What are you doing here?” she asks, hastily re-wrapping herself and throwing on a tunic to keep her modesty.

“You haven’t done it yet,” Cora hisses. “You’ve been here for over half a year and instead of killing my daughter you’ve fallen in _love_ with her?”

Emma sighs. “I can’t do it. I won’t kill Regina.”

“You will.” Cora approaches Emma and leans close to her face, pulling a knife from her belt to hold to Emma’s throat. “Or I’ll kill you instead.”

She’s gone before Emma can respond, leaving Emma alone again in her bedroom with mind spinning and chest heaving. Slowly, she moves to the bed and reaches beneath it to pull out the chest Cora gave her all those months ago, holding it firmly in a shaking grasp. She has to make a decision.

And she has to make it now.

 

Emma stands outside Regina’s chambers the next night, hood covering her face and the small chest hidden beneath her cloak. She knocks.

“Enter,” Regina calls, and it’s so painfully familiar that Emma almost turns and runs. But no, she has to be strong, she has to follow through or else… she pushes the door open and gently closes it behind her.

Regina pulls the strings of her cloak and lets it drop, just as she loves to do, but this time she frowns when the cloak is gone. “What’s that?” she asks, gesturing to the box.

“It’s a surprise.” Emma forces her voice to remain steady. She leans forward and kisses her, allowing Regina’s lips to chase away her fear, even just for a moment. “Lie down and close your eyes,” she murmurs against her lips.

With a confused expression, Regina complies, letting her hands rest at her sides and her eyes fall shut.

Emma’s heart pounds as she approaches the bed. Her mind screams questions at her, why is she doing this, who does she think she’s helping, is she really that much more important than Regina? Is she that much more important than anyone? She knows she isn’t, she _knows_ that in her mind, but some driving force inside of her is just too stubborn to let her die. And so she stands over the much-too-trusting body of the woman she loves, ready to commit the ultimate betrayal.

Slowly, taking every second to memorize the bones in Regina’s hand, she runs her fingers gently up her lover’s arm, tracing patterns over her wrist. And, before Regina can open her eyes, she reaches into the chest and slips the cuff onto her arm.

Regina’s eyes fly open. “Emma?” she asks. Her eyes widen in panic at the sight of the cuff on her arm and she yanks at it, tries so very hard to get it off, but all the sweat and broken nails are for nothing because the cuff is more powerful than she is. “Emma, what is this?”

“I’m so, _so_ , sorry,” Emma whispers. Tears flood her eyes and she makes to attempt to prevent them from spilling over.

“Sorry for what? Emma, what’s going on?”

“Your mother came to see me.”

Regina’s eyes widen even further, and the blood drains from her face. “You’re here to kill me.” She swallows once. “Is that your whole reason for being here? Why you joined my guard? _Everything_?”

Emma shakes her head wildly. “No! I mean, it’s the reason I came to the palace, but falling for you… that was all me.” She ducks her head. “Loving you is the reason you’re still here now,” she admits, unsure if it’s even coherent as she heaves a massive sob. “But Cora, she, she came to me last night, and she said if I didn’t do this… she said she’d kill me.” Emma turns away, burying her head in her hands and forgetting completely about the knife hanging from her belt – the one Regina never knew about.

She wants to leave. And with another glance back at Regina’s broken gaze, at her quivering red lips, she decides she must. She scoops her cloak from the floor and heads for the door, determined to leave the palace and never see her love again. _As long as she’s alive_ , she tells herself.

“Do it.” The voice from behind stops her, and she stops in her tracks to slowly turn and face the person who said it. Regina’s not looking at her anymore; she’s sitting on the bed and staring at her lap with fists clenched at her sides and visibly shaking knees.

“What?”

“Do it,” she says again, this time just the faintest bit stronger. “Kill me.”

A fresh wave of tears spills out of Emma’s eyes. “Regina…”

“I won’t let my mother kill you.” She pauses, taking a few shuddering breaths before she continues. “Besides, I’ve been queen long enough to be hated by most of my subjects. It’s time for me to die.”

“Don’t say that.” But she’s walking closer already, hand at her belt and muscles flexing to kill. She’s trained for this; it’s in her blood to hunt, kill, and run, and no amount of love can ever change that. “I don’t hate you.”

“I know.” Regina shakes her head and looks up to meet Emma’s eyes and she’s been crying. A lot. “You love me. And that’s the worst part.”

 _Agreed_. Emma steps forward and slips her hand into Regina’s, savoring the vice-like grip on her fingers that will soon be no more.

“Will it hurt?”

Emma winces. “No.” It’s just a small lie. After everything, Emma owes her that. She owes her a lie. “It’s just a pinch, and then you’ll go to sleep.”

Regina nods slowly. Her eyes water and flood, salty tears trickling down her face and making her lips part and glisten with moisture. And now, even moments before her death, she’s beautiful. “I love you,” she whispers.

“I love you too.” Emma kisses her one more time, swipes the tears from Regina’s lips with her tongue, all the while pulling the knife from her belt. She doesn’t break the kiss even after driving the blade into Regina’s side; still she holds her close, swallowing the cries with her mouth and giving Regina every last ounce of love she can before it’s gone forever.

It’s only a few moments before Regina’s grip slackens on her hand and her lips stop moving, and when Emma pulls away she collapses onto the bed with a few stray tears still rolling down her cheeks.

Emma leaves the knife in her body. She can’t have the weapon traced back to her, after all. But before she goes, she presses one last shuddering kiss to a pale forehead, and traces the bones in Regina’s hand one last time.

The gold chain around her neck burns against her skin, and she thinks again to the woman who gave it to her in the square so long ago. Slowly, with trembling fingers, she reaches behind her and unclasps it to lay it gently in Regina’s palm and close still-warm fingers around it.

“It served its purpose already,” she whispers, fighting back more tears. “It brought me you.” She wipes at her eyes, shaking her head a few times to clear her head. “Maybe it’ll help you wherever you end up.”

“I love you so much.” She sighs. “Nothing’s ever gonna change that.”

 

When the queen was found murdered in her bed one morning, no one had any idea who could have done it save for the gold chain curled in her palm providing a lead to Killian Jones, a member of her personal guard. The guards’ reasoning being that he wore jewelry similar to that of the chain. Killian ran off to his ship, and he’s been god knows where since.

Since the queen had no husband and no child, Snow White came out of hiding to take the throne, much to the kingdom’s joy. She kept what remained of Regina’s guard, hiring two more to replace Killian and Traveler Swan.

What became of Traveler Swan, then? They say he vanished the morning of the queen’s death, his chambers picked clean. As though he was never there. No one knew where he went, not even his best friend, the Huntsman Graham. Though Graham did remark that Swan was rather close with their queen. “Perhaps he just couldn’t handle it after she died,” he said to Robin Hood a few days after the incident. Robin agreed and they went about their business as any other day.

As for Emma, she decided to abandon the Traveler title and the green cloak, both too risky to keep around. She lives in a village now; spins cloth in her little house and cares for the son she didn’t want but is so glad she had. Even now, years after the queen’s death, Emma still gazes at the stars and wonders if her love is up there, watching over her.

Someday, Henry will be old enough to hear the story of the not-so-evil-queen and the knight that loved her to death. But for now, she lets him frolic about the house and torture the cat, bandages his scraped knees, and kisses him goodnight when the sun goes down.

She sees posters in the woods demanding Killian’s head when she goes to the creek to fetch water in the mornings. Whenever she does, she smirks and shakes her head, ignoring the pang in her heart at the sight. If only they knew. If only they all knew that what Regina always said is true.

Love will always make you weak.

**Author's Note:**

> So, since I hate spoiling things for my readers, I'm not tagging my major character death fics anymore. I'm an ass, sorry everyone.


End file.
